My friend recently posted in her blog about her daughter’s questioning of sexuality and what it means to be “gay.” We have an amazing couple, who happen to be lesbians, at our children’s school and she had to explain three years ago about how one child can have two mommies. My child asked me the same thing at the beginning of the year seeing how the younger sibling is in my child’s class. I found it easy. (I grew up in Long Beach, CA where being LGBQT is pretty normal.)
I told my son, “Well __X & X____ very are lucky! They have two mommies and even a daddy that love them very much. You know how your mommy is part Mexican and part Irish? Well it is the same as that; just a little bit of a different mix that makes things even more special for you. We are so very fortunate to have so much diversity in the world.” My son was ecstatic at that and was very happy for his friend that who got to have the extra special bonus of two mommies. I did not have to explain much further, but even if I had to it would be a great opportunity for me to enrich my son’s view on the world. I want him to embrace people no matter what their backgrounds are, be it LGBQT, different religions, ethnicities, socio-economic, special needs or whatever life brings to him.
That being said, I do not prefer to use the term “Ally” when referring to myself and LGBQT. I think that is such a sheltering instead of embracing term. I donate time to a wonderful foundation called The Point Foundation. It is an organization that “promises LGBTQ students to achieve their full academic and leadership potential – despite the obstacles often put before them – to make a significant impact on society.” I was there donating time a few months ago, organizing their applications and helping get the folders together for their upcoming meeting to decide the finalists. The man I was working with wanted to know more about why I got involved since I was straight woman. I had been asked the same question a few times at the last event that I helped with and had to explain the same thing. “I really don’t know how my info was passed to the foundation, but I do not see any reason why I shouldn’t help this cause. I love the community and see no difference from this foundation versus one that helps anyone else.” I had been called an “ally” before and was again within this foundation. I refrained from saying, “no I am not your ally” out of fear of immediately worrying anyone even if I did follow-up the statement with the rest of my thought.
My thought process is simple but long, “No I am not your ally, I am a human. I don’t see an African-American man or woman and tell them that I am their ally. I don’t announce that I am an ally of a Muslim. I don’t have to state that I am an ally of a person in a wheel-chair. No, I just am human and love you all.” It is surprising to me that we have to note that we accept or approve of a certain lifestyle. In fact I don’t see it as a lifestyle, I see it as life in general. I will not understand people who hate people for random reasons. In fact, to hate someone is to put even more effort in than ignoring that issue they have with… whatever. Sometimes society amazes me, both in good and bad ways. Someday I really hope that love can be more abundant and embracing. In the meantime, if you cannot be a “normal human,” try working on at least being an ally.
Leave Your MomPants at the Door 